Star Trek: Enterprise (TV Review)

Spoiler Alert

Anyone who has not seen any episode of Star Trek: Enterprise (2002-2005) is hereby advised that this post may contain a few unavoidable spoilers.

I’ve always loved Star Trek. The original series, The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and even Voyager have always been my firm favourites for as long as I can remember. I have all the DVDs and I watch them over and over without getting bored. When I was still a lad and just starting to really get into writing, I even wrote a few Star Trek fan fictions.

The one thing I didn’t like, or should I say refused to like, was Enterprise (2002-2005). In fact, I’ve been pretty vocal about my contempt for this show in the past. However my wife and I were desperately hunting for something new to watch that filled the Star Trek void. Sure, Star Trek: Picard was good, but it doesn’t quite fit the classic Star Trek feel and the less being said about Discovery, the better. So after a little gentle coaxing from the wife, I decided to give Enterprise a second chance.

I won’t lie to you, I still hate the theme tune. But I clenched my teeth and decided to bear with it long enough to see if I enjoyed the actual program and, to my great surprise, I did! Maybe it was just my bad experience with Discovery or maybe I was being genuinely unfair before but I have to say that I really liked Enterprise and feel it fits in nicely with the first three spin-off shows. The first two seasons meandered a little bit but it really picked up with season 3 and its season-long story arc focusing on the Xindi invasion and the formation of the United Federation of Planets in season 4. Oh and if you like time travel episodes, this show has got them in spades.

Anyway, let’s talk characters. While TNG, DS9 and Voyager focused on different characters for individual episodes (resulting in definable ‘Riker episodes’, ‘Data episodes’, ‘Odo episodes’, ‘Neelix episodes’, etc.) Enterprise focuses almost entirely on three key characters: Captain Archer, Sub-Commander T’Pol and Commander Tucker (‘Trip’). The rest of the regular cast serve as little more than supporting characters with loose fitting backstories and all the substance of a bunch of turnips. Boring supporting characters aside, I quite liked this approach. It was reminiscent of the original series with its focus on Kirk, Spock and Bones and allowed the three key players a bit more opportunity to develop. I could take or leave Archer but I really liked T’Pol and Trip.

Most Star Treks also have very familiar settings aboard their ships: the bridge, where all the shaking happens when the ship is attacked; the transporter room, where people get beamed up; engineering, where things explode; sickbay, where people with bizarre alien diseases are cured by the CMO at the last moment. Well, Enterprise has all these and more, including the command centre, the situation room and my personal ‘favourite’: the decontamination chamber. This bizarre little room was an obvious and cynical attempt to increase viewing figures particularly confusing and upsetting. Whenever a crewman (or usually two or more crewmen of opposite genders) returned from an alien planet, they went into this dimly lit room where they stripped down to their underwear and started lazily sponging each other down with shiny oil. You know, to decontaminate each other.

Decontamination wasn’t the only subtle-as-a-bat’leth attempt to bring sex appeal to this show. Almost from the outset, it is clear there’s going to be a romantic subplot between Trip and T’Pol (I knew it the first time I saw them together in that decontamination chamber). Very good, we like romantic subplots. Foreshadowing it by having both characters stripping off and giving each other massages to help treat Trip’s insomnia, on the other hand, seems a tad obvious. They didn’t develop any serious kind of relationship until the very end of the last season, and even then it seemed like their relationship was only just starting to get real when Trip was quite unnecessarily and unceremoniously killed at the last minute.

Speaking of which, the final episode was a major disappointment. Most Star Trek spin-off series ended with a thrilling two-part bang. Enterprise ended with a one-part episode in which Will Riker from The Next Generation runs a holodeck simulation of the Enterprise crew on their way to sign the charter which led to the formation of the United Federation of Planets. A brief bit of shooting, a lot of Riker and Troi musing about following orders and Trip’s untimely demise. The end. Probably the most boring episode of the series, with the possible exception of the Risa episode.

I feel like I’ve done nothing but criticise in this review. Please don’t be misled. I may be fifteen years late to the party, but I finally decided I like this show. I hereby renounce any of the bad stuff I’ve said about it (apart from anything I’ve said in this post, of course). It feels a million times more ‘Star Treky’ than anything else we’ve been served up in the last fifteen years and gives you a good solid forty minutes of family friendly sci-fi/drama entertainment more or less every time. It boasts well written story arcs and a good mix of humour, drama and excitement and (mostly) likeable characters (I want to punch that snotty-nosed Reid in the chops though). Watch it with my blessing.

Just make sure you skip the intro sequence.

My rating: 🖖🖖🖖🖖

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Every Tuesday, I post a new edition of Spotlight: a short post which shines a proverbial spotlight on a published novel or collection of short fiction. If you would like to have your book considered for a future edition of Spotlightdrop us an e-mail including a short synopsis of your book and a link to where we can buy it. Better yet, send me a copy of your book and I can include a mini-review.

I’m still looking to interview fiction authors here on Penstricken, especially new or indie authors. Whether it’s books, plays, comics or any other kind of fiction, if you’ve got something written, I want to hear about it. If you’re interested in having your work featured on Penstricken, be to sure to drop us an e-mail or message us on Facebook/Twitter/Pinterest.

Please be advised that due to a recent surge in interest, I am presently committed to a significant number of reviews/interviews over the next couple of months. If you would like an interview or review, I would still love to hear from you, though it is unlikely that I will be able to begin work immediately.

You can check out our previous interviews here:

5 Basic Star Trek Plots

Back when I was still a kid writing Star Trek fan fiction, there were only four Star Trek TV series and ten movies. No Discovery, no Kelvin universe or any of that other snazzier, slightly darker stuff we’ve been getting served recently. And now I hear that they’re expanding the franchise even further, with more shows and films, including a new Captain Picard show.

Now… I don’t want to knock the new stuff. Most of it is quite good in its own way. But if I have one criticism for them all, its that they lack that cheese, that optimism, that je ne sais quoi that made Star Trek, Star Trek. They’re just a bit to grim. Too serious. Dare I say, too cool. And for that reason, I’ve got my doubts about this new Picard show. I’m fearful that it’s going to take one of the franchises’ most beloved characters and ruin him. And so, for the benefit of any would-be Star Trek writers, I have compiled this list of five basic Star Trek plots to help you on your way to writing a traditional, cheesy Star Trek story.

A Disasterous Transporter Malfunction


In Star Trek, the transporter is a ‘completely safe’ device which breaks an object or person down at the molecular level and re-materialises them on another ship or planet.

What could possibly go wrong?

Lots, apparently. It turns out that a dicky transporter can leave you with stones embedded in your body (ENT: “Strange New World”); separate your ‘good side’ from your ‘evil side’ so that you become two separate people (TOS: “The Enemy Within”); beam you up naked (VOY: “In The Flesh”) and re-materialise you as a child (TNG: “Rascals”). Remember, would-be Trek-writer, the transporter is a treasure trove of light-hearted nonsense with which you can easily fill up an hour with.

Going Faster Than Fast And Ending Up Somewhere Crazy

Sometimes, perhaps due to an alien seizing control of the ship, because we entered a wormhole or because somebody accidentally broke the ship’s engines, we’re now moving even faster than we ever thought possible.

The burst of speed only lasts for a moment, and naturally the first thing to do is figure out where we are.

But wait… this must be a sensor malfunction. But it’s not! You’re three or four galaxies away from where you started (TNG: “Where No One Has Gone Before”)! You’ve ended up in front of a terrifying new antagonist (TNG: “Q Who?”)! You’ve mutated into an amphibian and had amphibian babies with your amphibian captain (VOY: “Threshold”)!

How will we ever resist the mind-altering properties of this weird place?!

How will we escape the terrifying aliens?!

How will we ever look Captain Janeway in the eye again!?

There you go. There’s your story.

We’ve Been Unwittingly Killing/Enslaving Intelligent Lifeforms!

It’s life Jim, but not as we know it. And that’s our lame excuse for hunting it like vermin (TOS: “The Devil in the Dark”), destroying its natural habitat (TNG: “Home Soil”) and forcing it to carry out dangerous or degrading tasks for us (TNG: “The Quality of Life”).

However, nobody but the regular cast seems to realise that this poor creature is clearly an intelligent life-form and any suggestion that it might be will be met with great hostility. This kind of story usually goes one of two ways:

  1. The creatures declare war on humanity and almost destroys the ship. The climax consists of a stand-off between humanity and the new lifeform in which only a last ditch attempt at diplomacy can save the day.
  2. A few frightened/unbelieving humans (usually guest stars) propose a course of action which will destroy the new lifeforms, resulting in a conflict between themselves and the regular cast, who are more enlightened and realise that killing is wrong.

The Inevitable Time-Travel Episode

No Star Trek series is complete without at least one time-travel episode. The crew’s odyssey through time is often (though not always) involuntary and, more often than not, it will involve correcting a significant change in established historical events. Sometimes this change will have been brought about by a malevolent force who is deliberately interfering in history (e.g.: DS9: “Trials and Tribble-ations”; VOY: “Relativity”) while other times it will be the regular cast themselves who have accidentally changed by history simply by being there (e.g.: TOS: “The City on the Edge of Forever”; DS9: “Past Tense”).

There are exceptions, of course. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home paid precious little attention to the continuity of the time-line (the crew invented transparent aluminium early, took a native back to the 23rd century and regrew a woman’s kidney without a second thought). So by all means, have fun with time-travel.

The Inevitable Court-Room Episode

Budget drying up? Try writing a court-room episode. These feature hardly any flashy effects and are mostly dialogue-driven. It’s nearly always a member of the regular cast who has either been wrongly accused of some offence (TOS: “The Wolf in the Fold”, TNG: “A Matter of Perspective”, DS9: “Inquisition”) or else is fighting for their basic rights (TNG: “The Measure of a Man”, VOY: “Author, Author”). However, there are exceptions. Sometimes its a guest character who’s on trial with the emphasis being placed on the character’s main advocate, who is usually a member of the regular cast (TNG: “The Drumhead”, VOY: “Distant Origin”).

Honourable Mentions:
  • Someone Is Violating the Prime Directive!
  • A God-like Alien Is Bullying Us
  • A Regular Character Falls in Love and Gets Dumped in One Episode
  • The Whole Crew is Going Mad!
  • The Whole Crew has Caught a Plague!
  • There’s Klingons/Romulans/Jem’Hadar/Borg on the Starboard Bow!

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Until next time!


I’m looking for authors (especially, but not limited to, new and/or indie authors) whose work I can feature here on Penstricken over the coming year. It will simply take the form of a quick Q&A about yourself and your work via private message or e-mail and, of course, a link to where we can all get a copy of your work.

I’m open to interviewing authors of almost any kind of story, provided your work is complete, original and of course, fictional. I will not consider individual short stories/micro-fictions, however I am happy to feature published anthologies or entire blog-sites of micro-fiction, provided you are the sole author.

If you’re interested, or want to know more, be to sure to drop us an e-mail or message us on Facebook/Twitter.